Let’s agree new year’s resolutions can be useful. But let’s also agree that they are, for the main and the most part, a complete set of cock-womble bollocks. We all know that they’re rarely achieved and yet we continue to set them, knowing or suspecting at least, that their sole reason for being and existing is to guarantee an annual self-beating as each one slips off the list left unchecked.

The only one I’ve ever kept was start smoking. I’d quit for two years, it was easy. By three minutes past midnight I’d won. Take that list of unfulfilled promises. Yours truly – The Emotional Masochist.

But what if there’s another type of list, one made not of endgames and unreachable achievements, but of markers of progress and change? Would that be any less like a self-crafted paddle to beat yourself blind with next November? Well here’s an attempt at that list. A list of learnings without any end point. Let’s see how they stack as we go…

80% less worry
As it’s impossible to quantify worry. This makes this whole resolution more achievable. As for metrics, I’d weigh it in fucktonnes. And as for how many, there’s plenty.

50% more fun
More fun than rarely gives this such a low start point that it’s impossible not to improve upon. As for percentage, see above. It’s the progress and process that counts.  

Be more selfish. Don’t wait for others to do things.
How many gigs have I not gone to because I couldn’t find a gig buddy? This never used to happen, what happened? Let’s consider this a marker in confidence.  

Blog: Imagine a direction and plan
In working and already in the works. It’s in line with that very first post.

Learn not be an emotional sponge. Don’t take on so many of other people’s chimps because I’m running out of bananas.
OK I could buy more bananas, but I’m running out of places to keep them. This is about managing reactions, developing coping mechanisms, learning what I can take on and can’t. This will be lifelong at least.  

All the films I’ve downloaded and wanted watch, that have stayed on my watch list for decades… Make time to settle down and watch some!
This is as much about self-care as discovery. There’s a guilt when I do things for me or even do things for enjoyment. Everything needs to be useful. Again I suspect this takes practice, and any and all self-care counts.  

See if I can’t fix on a forward (work, placement, uni, yadda yadda)
See above and the previous post. Even recognising the tightrope is progress.

So are these unreasonable expectations? Or are they aspects of self-care and wellbeing that any half healthy mind might just chew through? For sure they can still be unrealised. But fingers crossed that just makes me try harder.

And yes I’ve already fucked up. But not fucking up wasn’t on there. If it was I wouldn’t learn a thing from it.

(And just how we got to this post, right here is where it all started….)