Installment 3… Relationship Whatnow?

I’m a semi permanently disgruntled ass, verging on childishly excitable. I’m vein, over confident and egotistical. I’m a self deprecating jangle of nerves. I’ve just about learnt to get comfy with me and now someone else has to too, and oh does she get my sympathy.

Close quarters in cars and motels, in Air BnB beds and bus stops. Close quarters in bars and museums, in various good and bad states; In itches, hang overs, morning horns and hungers, we adapt to our quirks or we don’t.

She wants to stay in when I want to go out. I want to sit write when she wants to go walk. I drive too fast, she drives too slow. I want music, she wants radio. We settle on right wing hard christian stations so we can both share in our shock and our awe.

We’ve had bitch fights in fits and wigouts and flipouts and said things we know we don’t mean… If anyone tells you travelling with your loved one is anything resembling easy, go pick out a pier for that unwise mouthflapper and push. It’s a wonderful thing but takes work. Every glitch magnified just as much as the good.

We’ve learnt new meanings of ‘sorry’ and ‘love’. I’ve had to accept my thought processes are mine and others might well have their own; a difficult thing when I think mine is right, but I beg you, don’t gloat when you are. And then I had to learn to suck up when I aint and the balance is ….best left unspoke.

It’s a crash course in learning, I am. A flash of acceptance of self and both. I stack up the good and the bad and while light outweighs heavy, it don’t mean bad bits don’t hurt. I’ve learnt to discuss, let it take three attempts, a bad react each then a level last round.

And she’s done her learning too. It’s not for me to describe this pretty, unique, loving, quick snapping thing, or for me to presume what she’s learnt (assume and apply some above and others), long as I don’t speak on her behalf.
Instalment 3 - relations.jpg
From our stay with Maggie and Mike after reviewing them on here, Mike gave me four phrases for an easy relation:
– I’m sorry
– You’re right
– I’ll never do that again
– You’re beautiful

…Ok, last is true… but who wants an easy relation.